Tuesday, April 27, 2010

4-26-10

What's the difference between Big Ben from the Pittsburgh Steelers and Big Ben from England? Well they both stand erect but in England the people have a choice of when they want to leave.

Hugh Hefner is getting really old. He agreed to rescue the Hollywood sign by offering $900,000. He thought he was purchasing a billboard for Playmate Holly Madison.

The Arizona Peace Officer Standards and Training Board is getting ready to set the standards and guidelines for Senate Bill 1070, which Arizona signed into law last week and which makes it a crime to be in the state illegally. To assist them, they have hired the consulting firm of Klux and Duke.

A report by Internal Medicine suggests that people that eat at least a chocolate bar a week are more depressed than the general population. So if someone you know is depressed and you want to cheer them up with kisses, make sure they're not from Hershey's.

"Dexter" star Michael C. Hall has beat cancer. He did it by first stalking it, lying in wait and ambushing it with an ice pick.

Panama's Manuel Noriega will be extradicted to France after spending time in an American jail since 1992 for a drug smuggling. He said if he had to do things differently, he would've just worked for Pfizer or Merck.

Senate investigators are looking into allegations that Goldman Sachs executives fraudulently put their interest ahead of their clients by taking a counter position and betting the opposite way. If found guilty, they may be elligible to be NBA referees.

Republicans voted unanimously to defeat a measure by the Democrats that would have regulated the financial system. This decision is sort of like derivatizes. It makes no sense.

2 comments:

  1. I'm going to let the Big Ben joke slide - mostly because it's funny and because I'm not a d*ck of a fan ;)

    These jokes went great with my AM cup of Juice - good way to start the day.

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  2. LOL. Listen I like the Steelers but if we can't laugh at shit, we end up crying. I'm glad you decided to stay. Come again.

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