Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm not dead- Just feel like it sometimes

Greetings Bloggers and readers from Lost Angeles, CA. I have been absent from this cyber universe for quite some time as I had another depressive episode that has lasted for about a month. During the "episode" I tend to tune out and remain in a semi-paralyzed state. As a result, I find it difficult to be creative or find humor. Instead I find dread and uncertainty. I know from reading many of the blogs here that I'm not alone in my feelings. However, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news or have my blog be a a tool for dispersing nothing but the blues.

I want my blog to be primarily a humor blog and a place where I can share a little piece of my universe. I believe that at one point this blog used to be somewhat entertaining and I want to make it that again. I do know that writing on a regular basis on my blog provided me with some discipline and this in turn allowed me to flex my creative juices. I'm trying to return to that mental state where I can create art or garbage. The point is to create. This post will be the first step.

The truth is that I have alot of shit on my mind. My work situation is less than ideal as the company has undergone major changes. Many people were laid off again and many people that I was really close with were liabilities in the corporate game. I could go on adinfinitum about the folly that exists at work. Suffice to say that it's the typical powerful people in power that "know better" than us proletariats. The bottom line is that I need and will get the fuck out soon for my own mental health.

Ahhh that feels so much better. I also stopped going to therapy after being bounced around from therapist to therapist. Beggars can't be choosey. It was practically a free clinic and to quote Maria Bamford, some times free clinics means crappy-shitty-no good. I know that I'm in a dark place when I stop doing the things that once gave me pleasure. I like comedy and writing and so I need to continue to pursue this.

I hope that you will still continue to check out my blog and I'll do the best to follow yours. I hope we can still be cyber pals. Deal?. I'll try to find humor again in this mad world. I'd rather laugh than cry.