4-23-10

Arizona has signed into law the toughest immigration bill. To show you how tough it is, Chuck Norris had to leave Arizona because the state could only have one sheriff in town.

Sarah palin's daughter Bristol Palin testified in Knoxville that she received harassing phone calls when her mother's email account was hacked and her number was made public. Sarah Palin will also testify as an expert witness since she is an authority on "hacks".

A team of surgeons in Spain have carried out the first full face transplant. Upon hearing about this medical procedure, Minister Pat Roberts inquired about getting that procedure himself. He was told he would have to get two procedures.

The Pitsburgh Pirates had its most embarassing lost when they were defeated 20-0 by the Milwaukee brewers. There was so much scoring that people thought it was a Tiger Woods party.

Kevin Kennedy,a television analyst for the Tampa Bay Rays and 7 others subdued a man on a plane after he threatened to blow up the plane. He grabbed the man and gave a play by play account of the incident.

Geico voice actor, Lance Baxter left a voice message on a Tea Party answering machine asking how many members are retarded. He found out in 15 minutes he was 100% fired from Geico.