Flashback Friday - How "Jessica" almost caused my death part 2

As promised, I will continue the saga of how my friend Jessica almost had me killed. If you read my last "Flashback Friday" post you will recall that I was almost killed by a Mexican gangster named Snoopy.

On another occasion, my friend Jessica began dating a buff Mexican rapper named "Latin Lover" (I'm not kidding -that was his rap name). "Latin" was HUGE!. His arms looked like my thighs. He was a shitty rapper but no one dare tell him that he couldn't flow.

Latin was legendary for being a mean ass Mexican. There was rumor on the street that when L.A County Jail had their famous, race riots between Blacks and Mexicans, Latin was the guy that started that riot!

On another occasion, some guys decided to try to rip off his d.j equipment and stabbed him several times. Not only did they not steal his equipment, one guy ended up getting his ass kicked. The dude was bad.

Latin Lover was a bit older than us as we were in high school. He began dating Jessica. Before dating her, he was dating another girl that was a pretty close friend of mine. This girl had told me that Latin was pretty abusive with her and had roughed her up on several occasions.

So when Latin began dating Jessica I tried to warn her of his propensity for violence. "Hey Jessica I heard that Latin could be rough. His last girlfriend told me that he was kinda rough with her. Be careful. I'm telling you this because you are a friend."

Next thing you know, word on the street was, "Latin is after you". I imagine the conversation that led to that decision went something like this:

Jessica: I heard you are a wife beater.
Latin: Who the fuck said that?
Jessica: I just heard.
Latin: Who told you!!!! (Neck gets squeezed hard)
Jessica: Israel!

To say I was scared is an understatement. I was petrified. During this time there were several events where my rapper buddies and I would attend, such as backyard parties. On one occasion, there was going to be a a rap contest at "Music Revolution" in Whittier,CA.

I knew the the guy that was the judge and he had told me to show up as he would award me the winner and I would get the cash. (So much for objectivity and fairness). Eventhough the fix was in, something told me NOT to attend because Latin would be there. I went with my instincts and stayed home.

My friend Sal, who did attend the rap contest, calle me up sounding frantic. "Israel Latin wants to kick your ass. He thought I was you and grabbed me by the neck and was going to sock me!"

I couldn't ignore this. I had to take action. I called him directly. More accurately, I called and kissed his ass clean. Inside, outside, all around. I left it spotless!

THE CALL
Ring Ring
(my heart is beating out of my chest and I'm breathing heavy)
"Hello"
"Can I speak with Latin?
"This is him"
"It's Israel. I heard you're after me"
"Yup"

(I then proceeded to tell him how I would NEVER talk about him. I reminded the time that we were partying with some girls and how I was cool with him and how much I enjoyed his company and how he was wiser than Jesus and that he smelled good and, you name it I said it. My life was at stake.)

He paused and calmly said: "You know that bitch was probably lying. I don't talk to her anymore. You're alright. We're cool because you took care of business. (Meaning I approached him regarding our differences). I was going to live.

What lessons did I learn?
1- Mexican girls like dating thugs.
2- Kissing ass can prevent kicking ass.
3- People that take part in prison riots tend to have bad tempers.
4- People can be Lovers and Fighters.
5- Its best to confront and go to the source of your problems.
6- All Jessica's are trouble including Simpson.