Monday, January 3, 2011


In Arkansas there is mystery surrounding the death of 5000 birds that fell from the sky. Look up in the sky it's a bird. Look down on the floor it's that same bird.

A 26 year old man who tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building in New York City was spared when he landed on a huge pile of garbage. The AIG executives also survived.

The commander of a U.S carrier is in hot water for a crude video he made that contained gay slurs, simulated masterbation scenes, and service members showering together. His career in the Navy may be ending but he has found a home in "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

Zsa Zsa Gabor was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital to have her leg amputated. Now she can't kick off the New Year as planned.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband was taken to the hospital after he mistook a bottle of glue for eyedrops. His coffe mug remains broken but has perfect vision.

In St. George, Utah three high schools have set up the Gay/Straight Alliances in this conservative town. The Church of the Latter Day Saints have accepted them freely because of their love of "more men". ( I need to move to Iowa because that was corny)


  1. These are sooo funny. My favorites are the birds and the suicide attempt. I don't remember reading of a plague of dead birds in the Bible, so I guess we are safe for a while.

  2. I'm all for the Zsa Zsa jokes. That woman is an unmined quarry of great material. Also the AIG thing made me almost inhale my coffee and exhale it through my nose. Thanks!

  3. Who needs The Osbournes?
    Who needs Gene Simmons Family Jewels?
    Who needs The Hasselhoffs?
    Bring on The Gabors!

    Belle- Why were you up at 3am??????
    Sleepless in Seattle?

  4. hahaha! i just spit out all of my oj! thanks buddy! ----funny stuff!

  5. I was up at 3:00am because dreams wake me up and then I can't get back to sleep for hours. Or the dog whines, or my husband gets up, or I'm too hot or too cold. I don't worry about it any more - just go with the flow. Israel has insomnia too, but maybe in a different way.

    Israel - When are you going to write about Jessica again?

  6. I can't wait for all the conspiracy theories over the dead birds to pop up.

  7. Thanks. That really started my day off well! I love the dead birds one. I can almost hear your timing if you were saying it.

  8. The AIG joke is priceless. The story about the birds is sad, though. They're probably eating seeds sprayed with insecticide and trippin balls.

  9. I'm outraged over the crude video made by that commander. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that masburbation should never be simulated!

  10. Oh my goodness. I need to only get my news from you! Birds were weird but done before but Zsa Zsa's leg?!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't handle it. Single tear.

  11. LOL! "It's the same bird!" Nice!