Monday, January 31, 2011

1-31-11 Jokes

Normally my jokes revolve around entertainment news, current events, or politics. Today I decided to do some of my one liner jokes that are just silly. Enjoy!

If a male smurf is on a date and doesn't get any, what color will his balls turn? Dark Blue?

Whenever I want to feel intelligent and decisive I shop at Smart and Final.

Head and Shoulders is either a shampoo or dinner among cannibals.

People used to stare at me in the street for talking to myself so I bought a blue tooth. Now they think I'm popular.

I met a Japanese Girl named Sudoku. I don't trust her. Things just don't add up.

The market chain "Lucky" went bankrupt. They are thinking of opening up under a new name, "Irony".

I'm allergic to allergies. If I start sneezing, I know I'm having a dream.

There is racism in the coffee world. Think about it. The beans are always Guatemalan,Columbian, or African. The creamers are always European: French Vanilla, Dutch Caramel, Irish Cream.

I think that the owner of Starbucks got its name from staring into the nightly skies thinking about dollars. If he was in Mexico it may have been called Estrella Peso.

I promised my girl the world. I bought her a globe. Now she has the whole world in her hands.


  1. Fun silliness! I like the one about bluetooth best of all!

  2. Hahaha! I've always thought Head and Shoulders are cannibal related. Damn! Great minds!

  3. Great stuff dude.

    I took a shot at monologue joke today too. Gave you a shout out.

  4. The blue tooth one was pretty good, indeed.


  5. I like the blue tooth one the most. It is so true.

  6. This had me laughing out loud: "I met a Japanese Girl named Sudoku. I don't trust her. Things just don't add up." hahaha

    I've been busy lately helping my bf with his start-up company. Btw, I need your address!! Email me ( so I can send you your prize!!

  7. I like the Sudoku one the best, but Estrella Peso - yes, a great name for any business.

  8. LOL! That's smurfed up! The Sudoku one was classic!

  9. Sudoku and Estrella peso -hilarious!

  10. That's so cute!

    Well for the blue ball bit, isn't that what Smurfette is for? Since she is the only known female smurf...Unless there is a female smurf traficking company underground.