Thursday, January 27, 2011


In Moseley Elementary School in Florida, a female teacher claims that a .22 caliber handgun fell out of a boy's pocket. I don't know what's more disturbing; the gun falling or the teacher's hand inside his pocket.

Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital complaining of abdominal pain after a night of wild partying. Witnesses are blaming Margarita shots. Margarita is claiming self defense.

In Egypt, the internet and chat messaging shut down after thousands of protesters took to the street calling to overthrow those in charge of their government. Talk about a pyramid scheme.

The game, "Where is Carmen Sandiego?" is coming to Facebook , followed by where are your papers?

Jesse Ventura is suing the TSA claiming their full body scans and pat down methods are unconstitutional. Especially troublesome was the questions they asked; things like, Who is your daddy? Or, Is that a pen in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Amy Winehouse confirmed that she will play in Spain this June along with Crystal Castle and the Chemical Brothers. No wonder she can't stay sober.

In Illinois, Police say Carolee Bildsten tried hitting a cop with a dildo after she tried to walk out on a restaurant bill. At least she left a big tip.


  1. Ha! You are so witty!! Loved these. Really loved the self-defense proclaiming margarita.

  2. Thanx Kelley. Comments like yours keep me motivated.

  3. Handguns in school? Makes me miss the good old days when kids settled dusputes in a civilized manner... with brass knuckles, tire irons and bicycle chains.

    Tiger Woods is trying to get back on top of his game by brushing up on the fundamentals. He just ordered the DVD set of Two and a Half Men.

    After Carolee Bildsten tried to assault an Illinois cop with a dildo she was frisked and cops picked up some bad vibes.

  4. Haha, big tip xD

  5. LOL I love your last one. I've thought about whipping mine out to skip out on a bill too. She stole my 2 minute fame!! Grrrr.Keep em coming!

  6. Love the pyramid scheme. Good luck to the protesters and I hope Jesse Ventura wins. Great jokes.