03-05-2010

Appearing on Good Morning America, Rudy Giuliani made a serious faux pas by stating that we had no domestic terrorist attacks under President Bush. This prompted Ambien CR to update their side effects to include: selected amnesia for political gain.

In Tanzania, scientists have discovered the fossil remains of Asilisaurus kongwe- a dinosaur which roamed the earth 240 million years ago. Or as John McCain calls it: my first pet.

About 100 people, dressed in black will attend a mock funeral to say good bye to Internet Explorer 6 since it's now considered obsolete. These same 100 attendees will immediately attend a second funeral where they will say good bye to their love life.