Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Schmalloween - Why I avoid getting into the holiday "spirit"

For many years I avoided going to holiday events. It's not that I'm cynical and bitter it's just that I'm cynical and bitter. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a good time with good company. The problem is holidays have a tendency to set expectations and create pressure and this isn't fun for me.

This last Haloween was no exception.

I get a call from an old friend. His name is roger but his D.J name is DJ. Daze. Back in the days when we were young and had energy, we were part of a hip hop group. He would DJ and I would rap. That was about 1000 years ago.

I get a text from "DJ. Daze" and he tells me he is having a party- A costume party. I thought cool. A bunch of has-beens trading war stories would be good. I pictured a bunch of geriatrics complaining about some nagging ache or a sprain that won't go away. I was ready.

First problem: No costume. Solution: The Goodwill Store. PRO: $9.00 Costume CON: "What the hell kind of monster are you supposed to be? (Note that is the pic of my "scary costume" I look like a bad version of swamp thing.

I bought that cheap costume and against my better judgment I decide to get into the "Halloween spirit". I also bought a skull with bulgy eyes that sings, "Somebody's watching me". It would have been better if Geico had not used the same song to describe it as the money you could have saved...

My girlfriend and I show up to Norwalk,CA. The front yard looks like a tent and there is a DJ and a bunch of kids. We are also one of the first people to arrive. It's like that commercial: "Wanna get away?". More kids show up. They looked like they were 10. I thought to myself: Am I the freaking chaperone here? The kids did what kids do. They danced, they laughed, they had a good time.

I did what old, grumpy people do. I left. (But not before eating a crap load of tacos) Next destination: Mom's house to pass out candy. I passed out candy to kids dressed as princesses, bees, and whatever Disney characters are in mode.

I just stood there with my $9 costume passing out candies to kids- making the Dental industry rich in the process.


  1. lmao! what a dork! at least your costume was scary looking in a "land of the lost" kind of way, but scary nonetheless! oh and at least you didn't fork out major money on your costume
    -like OTHER (me)people did! and at least you got to wear your costume, unlike me who had a wardrobe malfunction at the last minute and had to improvise and go with a totally new theme!
    --lol okay i'm done, promise. :)

  2. Yeah I didn't even bother with dressing up this Halloween.


  3. I think you look properly ghoulish. I slapped a child-sized Minnie Mouse hat on my head to give out candy. And at least you had tacos! All I got for dinner was three mini-O Henry bars.

  4. Belle - that's true! At least he got food out of it! lol

  5. Nice post! No fun going to a teen party, but you did get into the spirit! Passing out candy sounds fun. We don't do that in this country at all.

  6. okay...even geriatrics know how to have a good time> lol and your costume made sense to me...