5-3-10

Things got heated at the United Nation's Nuclear Conference between the U.S and Iran. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accused the U.S of bullying non-nuclear countries. Hillary Clinton responded by stealing his lunch money.

Hugh Hefner recently revealed to his 24 year old girlfriend that he has made sex tapes for a long time. In fact , the first ones were silent films.

Wal-Mart has agreed to pay $27.6 million for dumping toxic waste in California. In a related story, Reggie Bush saved $27.6 million by dumping Kim Kardashian.

In an effort to appear transparent to the International community, Hillary Clinton revealed to the UN that we have 5113 nuclear heads. In the next meeting she will disclose the social security numbers of all white house staff and leave the door open at Fort Knox.

As a result of the weeked storm, Nashville Tennesee was reported to have muddy waters. This created confusion in the south as many thought the blues legend was still alive.

In West Hollywood, CA., a woman stabbed 4 people at a Target store at random with a butcher knife. Typical Hollywood- an agent contacted her to be a contestant on Top Chef.