7-19-10

Pop Singer "Pink" was injured after she fell on stage in Germany. She plans on returning soon under her new stage name: Pink Black and Blue.

93 Year old, Zsa Zsa Gabor is recovering from surgery after getting her hip replaced. She was grateful to have received one from the Natural History Museum.

The clothing store, Forever 21 is under fire by conservative parents for creating a maternity collection that targets pregnant teens. Especially offensive is their "This mother wants another" t-shirts.

The cast of Jersey Shore will return to MTV after holding out and demanding a pay raise. MTV finally caved in to their demands and agreed to pay them in sun tan lotion.

In response to a small leak in the well, BP announced this it was moving forward with "static kill". Hopefully it will be as effective as their previous operation, "Kill Fisherman jobs."