Thursday, October 28, 2010
How to Charge $10 for a golf ball/ My alternative to health insurance
Let me explain the glove pictured here. It is a "reflexology" glove. The glove is divided into pressure points that correspond to physical parts of your body. The theory goes that applying pressure to those points will "heal" or "improve" your ills.
My girlfriend bought this because I have been borderline psychotic lately and she thought this may help me. I've been having "depressive episodes" as shit has not gone according to plan. Needless to say my insomnia has gotten worse as has my anxiety and general depression. I did call to speak to a counselor today and someone is supposed to get back to me soon. I try not to be too much of a downer because this blog is supposed to be a humor blog and I don't want to be the bearer of bad news.
Back to the story. I went to Barnes and Noble with my girlfriend today to purchase a book I lost. As we are walking towards the parking lot, she reaches into a bag and opens up a package.
"I got something I want to try on you" my girlfriend tells me.
"what is it?"
She shows me this kit which includes two gloves, a ball, a chart, and a book. I laughed. "They know how to sell a golf ball for ten dollars" I tell her. It's called marketing. She begins to rub the ball on the pressure points that are supposed to relax me.
After leaving Barnes and Noble I went to the Mc. Donald's drive thru for their delicious ice cream cones. I'm wearing the glove proudly, like Michael Jackson did his sequin glove. "I'm going to pay with this glove" I tell my girlfriend. "Please don't", she begs. I win. I pay with the glove while keeping a straight face and collecting the cones SLOWLY so that the cashier can admire the artistry of my glove. I leave.
Now the truth is reflexology has a dubious reputation. Those who adhere to western standards will probably dismiss it as quakery. Penn and Teller featured reflexology on their show called "Bullshit." I'll keep an open mind and will keep the reader posted on the results.
The glove made me laugh. So far, it has already made me feel better.