10-29-10

Osama Bin Laden has issued a taped message where he threatened to kill French citizens for France's support of the Afghan war and for its support of the burqa ban. As usual, France has caved in by banning berets and fries.

The queen of darkness, Elvira is returning to television after a 17 year absence with 26 new and scary episodes. The first featured film is titled: The future of the U.S economy.

The World's fastest super computer no longer belongs to the U.S. That honor now belongs to China. Americans are trying to get that technology from them but they keep putting up a great wall.

Clint McCance, an Arkansas school board member, said he will resign for posting a message on Facebook where he said he wanted gay people to commit suicide. No lawsuits will be launched. A judge ruled he has been punished already - He lives in Arkansas! (Apologies to Jay from "Cynical Bastard" who also resides there)

As a result of an FBI “sting” operation, a Pakastani man has been arrested for planning to attack the DC Metro area as part of an al Qaeda operation. The man needed to be hospitalized. Those killer bees are vicious.

The U.S Dollar reached near its record low of 1995. To show you how low it got, it's starting in its own reality show.

Charlie Sheen was found in a hotel drunk and naked with a 22 year old porn star. You know what that makes him right? Qualified for Congress.