Monday, March 7, 2011
Johnny Depp has taken a movie role involving a talking chameleon named Rango. In response, a lawsuit has been filed by Geico Insurance.
After losing their 4th game in a row, the Miami Heat coach took his team out to see a movie they could relate to: The Crying Game.
As a result of possible salmonella contamination, Skippy Peanut Butter is being recalled in 16 states, before it spreads.
Afghan President Karzai has rejected the apology of the American general after it accidently killed 9 civilains in a millitary campaign. He was especially incensed by the phrase: "Shit happens, my bad."
Footage of the surveillance video that showed Lindsey Lohan shoplifting a $2500 necklace has been sold for $35,000. A second surveilance video was also sold that showed Lindsey Lohan trying to also steal that $35,000.
The Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao said he has a plan to eradicate poverty by 2020. It wil be based on North Korea's model of feeding its people bullshit.
Road workers in China discovered a 700 year old mummy. Also found was a hand written note it read: I'd like to take you out some day. Sincerely, Larry King.