Jokes 3-1-11

Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend were arrested for drunkenness in West Hollywood. She went from being a genie in a bottle to genie abusing the bottle.
Punchline #2- Apparently what a girl wants is a d.u.i

Karina Smirnoff is scheduled to appear on "Dancing with the Stars". What a Country! Oh wait wrong Smirnoff. They're both intoxicating.

San Antonio Spur's Tony Parker will be out 2-4 weeks because of a calf strain, In a bizzare coincidence, for the last 3 months, Eva Longoria has been taking sniper classes.

What do you get when you mix cocaine with hookers, orgies and wild ramblings? I don't know but Charlie Sheen does.

Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernankle has warned that a rise in oil prices is a threat to the U.S economy. He's offered a practical solution to end the demand for oil: Cancel Jersey Shore.

Consumer Reports named Ford Motor the most improved carmaker. It also named Toyota "the best alternative to Russian Roulette."

Christian Dior has fired designer John Galliano after an online video showed him praising Adolph Hitler. They will also halt production of their Greedy Jew Spring wear.

Safeway is recalling salad that it sold in 12 states. So if you bought some, it's time to toss the salad. Let me re-phrase that.