Thursday, December 9, 2010
I have kept a secret from you - A tale of rejection and redemption
Remember a while back when I had discussed the depression I experienced for being unemployed? Remember how I announced to you guys that I got a job?
Well all of that did happen but I left out one fact: They fired my ass! I couldn't face you guys and tell you how much of a failure I felt like so I remained silent until now. I didn't get the Donald Trump firing. The employment agency resorted to euphemisms: "You're assignment has ended."
Now the details. I had gottten a typical office job and I was excited to leave my couch and not anguish over whether Jamal is or isn't the father of Keisha's baby. I knew that it wasn't my dream job but after getting so many rejections, I felt like the ugly girl at school that finally got asked to prom. "Yes I'd love to take you up on you offer!"
The people at my new job were kinda ghetto and not that smart. True story. We were learning the software and were looking at mock files that we had access to for training purposes. Somewhat had written the following in the notes section:
"Customer appears hostel"
The girls next to me grabs my attention and points to the note and laughs. "Look that person said said the customer was hostel. She was amused. "You know it should be hostile right? spelled h-o-s-t-i-l-e" I tell her. "NO it's hostel," she argues with me. "Hostile is an adjective" I try to explain. Then she busts out with this gem: "Didn't you see the movie Hostel? I said, "exactly, hostel is a place..." A minute later she says, "I think you are right. I asked myself, "what the fuck am I doing here?
The girl that did the training had a pierced mouth. In one of our training sessions, we had to read out loud (like you did in elementary school) portions of the manual regarding our computer software. One guy encountered the difficult word "QUEUE" - pronounced "kyu". He pronounced it "Kuwi". I was entertained.
On another occassion, we had training by a gay guy that aspired to be a comedian. He was about as funny as the word "The" but had the need to seek attention in an annoying way. He was in charge of monitoring what and how we say things on the phone. We had to follow a script verbatim and we also had to access 3 computer systems based on the type of account it was.
The whole system was void of logic and was cumbersome. It was alot of data that seemed random to me. I was lost. I felt "retarded" (you know what I mean). Yet everyone got it including the cavemen and the simpletons. I wanted to yell out, "I swear I'm not an idiot. I play chess! I can play a musical instrument. I graduated from an established university. I said nothing. I sat confused with a virtual dunce hat on me.
There was another guy that I met there that was very smart. He graduated from BYU in finance. We had interesting conversations on macro-economics and other interesting topics. He spoke a little bit of Spanish and the position required that you be fluent in Spanish.
I got a message on my cell phone. "Israel please call me immediately..." It was a lady from the job agency. I called her. "You're assignment has ended.". Cisco (the gay dude whose real name is Francisco)just feels that you are not quite getting the information fast enough." I agreed with that assesment. I told her that I'm a slow learner and that I would have gotten the information in due time; once I made sense of it.
I called my girlfriend and told her that I was fired. I laughed out loud while I waited for my Vietnamese Sandwich at Lee's. "I'm retarded. I can't follow simple orders." I repeated this over and over while questioning if I had mental problems.
Deep down I know that I found the job mundane and not very dynamic.
I got a call from the BYU guy and I immediately told him that I was fired. "Yeah they got rid of me too" he tells me. He went on "I feel like a loser. You have idiots killing it there. "They said my Spanish sucked." "You were too smart for the position" I tell him.
For the next few days I pondered in amusement if anyone would ask me to prom again. Then out of nowhere I get a call from a well respected agency that works with ending homelessness in Orange County, CA. I had submitted my resume along time ago and it was forwarded by my girlfriend's ex boss who now works there. I researched the company and I loved everthing this agency stood for. I set up an interview and I met with the ladies that work the program and the contrast from my last job was vast.
The ladies were articulate, passionate, clear, and very charasmatic. I was very comfortable at the interview. I decided I was going to just be myself, win lose or draw. I filled out an application and gave my references. My references including my ex boss spoke highly of me.
THE GOOD CALL
"Israel we would like to offer you the position!" I was excited and a little bit emotional. I was going to the prom again! This time my date was staying with me. During my job search process I kept telling myself that I needed to see "hope" and signs of hope to help keep me motivated. This was the hope I needed.
The position is part-time but because of my association to this agency, I had another interview yesterday with another program that would also offer me another part-time position which would make me a full time worker. In a week I will know.
So far I love my new job. I help homeless people get shelter and food. In addition, I place homeless mothers with kids in temporary housing with the ultimate goal of finding them permanent housing. In this short week of training my eyes have been opened to the humanity that exists out there. I tend to be somewhat of a cynic but I'm seeing a world of charity and compassion. The homeless people that I meet are so grateful to have a meal somewhere to sleep for the night.
I realized that there is alot of good people who are in bad situations. I hope this posting serves as a reminder that things can work out for the best if you experience setbacks and also that if you are struggling, you are not alone.
Ok enough sentimental crap! I want to apologize for my lackluster posts in these last few days. I've been busy with training but I promise to read and respond to you guys. Also regarding the caption contest, the funniest caption will win a prize of a used book and some other surprise. The winner needs to give me an address to mail the prize to. I will also try my best to conjure up some jokes if time allows. You guys are awesome and I want to thank you guys for reading my blog. And to the newbies, let me know you are out there. I need to see hope for the blog as well.