12-10-10

A recent scientific study shows that Denosumab, also known as Xgeva is effective in preventing bone loss. However, the most effective prescription to not only decrease bone loss but significantly improve bone production is Viagra.

The show "The Hasselhoffs" has been canceled after two episodes because of poor ratings. He plans on recharging his career with the Hollywood, fool-proof method. Be on the look out for the sex tape: Hoffer Does Dallas.

The FAA is forcing airplane owners to re-register their planes after they admitted that they could not account for 120,000 planes. They are also trying to regain the radar signal they lost on Amelia Earhart.

Retired witch and Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell recently compared the tax cuts that Obama made to extend unemployment with the Pear Harbor attacks. This explains why she launched a grenade at her tax man.

Jillian Michaels announced via twitter that she is leaving "The Biggest Loser". Executives for the show say that they can retain the ratings without her. Fat Chance.

A former Goldman Sachs programmer has been found guilty of stealing computer codes that enabled them to trade faster. This shows once again that they didn't deserve a bail out. They should be out on bail.

Jessica Simpson's clothing line has brought in three quarter of a billion dollar in sales.She is getting ready to announce her new line this Spring aptly called "Payback Bitches"

A woman from Baytown,Texas was jailed for failing to attend a court hearing regarding unreturned,library books. She will have to serve several months in jail and pay for or return the books "Overcoming Procrastination" and "Late".