Friday, December 24, 2010

Flashback Friday - How "Jessica" almost caused my death twice!

When I was in high school, I ran with the hip hop heads. Most of my friends used to rap,dj,do graffiti or danced. I guess you can say that I ran with thug-looking people but they weren't dangerous. In fact, many were very talented.

I was the leader of a local "crew" of rappers and we dressed hard; the baggy jeans, Los Angeles Kings T-shirts, the White T shirts, and the "fresh" Adidas (Yes it was a long time ago). Several of my friends wore fisherman hats ala EPMD, jerseys, and sports jackets. We used to show up at backyard parties with a mic in our hand and rapped to instrumentals while our dj would scratch. Once in a while, a dance battle would go off.

Back then the party scene was huge. Everybody was in a party crew. This consisted of a group of guys and girls that would get together for the sake of partying and making money. We woud print out flyers and hit the streets promoting a party and charge like $2-$3 dollars at the door. The DJ got a cut, the promoters got a cut and the owner of the house got a cut. The social scene in L.A at the time was crazy as people also cruised "Whittier Boulevard" in East L.A as they headed east towards Whittier and Pico Rivera.

During this time you also had the traditional gangsters (Cholos). They were o.k with party crews as long as you respected their "hood" and let their gangsters in for free. It was an unspoken rule that gangsters from the neighborhood where the party was being thrown get in for free. Also, it was generally understood that gangsters from other neighborhoods would not step foot in a party if it was in enemy territory.

Everyone knew everyone and there was always beef but it was normal to us.

I was good friends with a crew of girls from Whittier. There was one girl named Jessica that was pretty wild. She started going out with a gangster named "Snoopy" and he was from a hard core gang. One day my friend Jessica asks me, "Do you know Snoopy?" I innocently responded, "Yeah doesn't he have a girlfriend that works at Chuck E. Cheese's?"

"OH HE DOES?" She said that in that tone thet Mexican chicks do when they are pissed. It's similar to when sistas' say "Oh no he didn't".

What I didn't know was that "Snoopy" and his girl had split but somehow it got around to Snoop that I was bad mouthing him. Word on the street was that he was after me. Snoopy was a big, broad guy with a Rocky Marciano flat nose and bad skin. He also had tiny piercing eyes.

"Dude Snoopy hates you" said my friend Pablo.
"Tell him that I'm cool. You know me"
"I tried telling him but he's nuts!" He is the type that will go off on his own friends. Once he just started socking his friend for no reason."

Great I had a psychopath after me. On top of that he had anger issues.

At every party I went to I heard the same thing, "I heard Snoopy is after you".

I would see him at a distance one in a while and I did my best to look brave but I was scared. I avoided going into his neighborhood to avoid seeing him.

Once I went to a party in a neighborhood of Snoopy's enemy with a few friends. And who do I see? SNOOPY! and not the one created by Charles Schulz.

He approaches me slowly (heart rate is increasing fast). He moves 2 feet away from me (palms are getting sweaty).

"I heard you're talking shit about me" He said this very slow like the Godfather except that he was a Mexican Cholo. He continued. "Do you know who I am?"
I said, "Albert". He corrected me. "NO Snoopy from Gang X" (which will remain anonymous just to be safe.)

"Listen if I have a problem with someone I'll tell them to their face." I said this hoping that my confidence would convince him that I was tough, second only to Chuck Norris.

"Is that right?" Snoopy responded. Then he would pause and just stare at me.
"Is that right?" It got slower each time he said that.
"Is that right?" O.K do you know how freaking scary this is?

Then he reached around his waist towards his back pocket like he was going for a gun.

I put both my hands out in a defensive posture. "Hey calm down!". "Calm down!".
He gave me a long stare and walked away. I did not see a gun and it was very likely that he just wanted to scare me and he was successful in doing that.

I never saw him after that but my friends love starting a conversation with, "remember when Snoopy was after you?"

Stay tune next week when I describe how Jessica almost had me killed by a giant Mexican rapper named Latin Lover.

To all of the blogging community. I want to thank you guys for the insights and entertainment that you guys provided me this year. Have a safe Holiday. Thank you guys for being the motivation behind this humble blog. Also remember that if you ever want to terrorize your enemies, just remember these three words:

"Is that right?"
(it works)


  1. Dude, I almost peed in my pants just reading about it, I can't imagine what YOU were thinking! Yikes. Merry Christmas and may 2011 be awesome and you know...Snoopy free.

  2. I hope you also have a chapter called Snoopy vs. the Red Baron! (LOL) Merry Christmas to you, Israel! It's been a pleasure to sample your humor and learn about your life this past year!

  3. LMAO! I'll never look at Snoopy the same way again! Thanks for squishing a childhood memory!!! ;) At least he wasn't name "Miklo" or "Popeye", that would have been e-scaryer! lol
    Merry Christmas Israel! Wishing you health,love and lots of laughter! Thank you for taking time to read my crazy, schizophrenic blog, and for all of your insight and advice along the way! Ho!Ho!Ho!

  4. You have me laughing so hard,it's hard to type. Have a cozy and safe Xmas and please, beware of Snoopy and his companions, Linus and Charlie. Personally, I have Shaggy after me and Scooby-Doo too!

  5. LOL Hilarious Israel!! Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings to you and those close to you. Thanks for making me laugh more in a year than I ever have before!! ^5 Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings to all of your visitors at this blog.

  6. That is why I try not to interact with too many people or when I do I don't say anything. Especially around Oxnard...I can't be downtown by myself at night without having to walk really fast back to the car and jet home.

    I know not to mess with those people.

  7. interesting and funny post, love it :)

  8. As the General said to Han Solo, "It isn't easy having a mark on your head." (I think that's right)
    Crap, Israel, that would make me move far away from my neighborhood.