Thursday, May 5, 2011

Jokes 5-5-11

Today is Cinco De Mayo, a time when Mexican Americans ask, Why Should the Irish be the only ones with a day to get drunk.

Henry Cavil, who plays "Superman" is engaged to his kleptomaniac girlfriend, Ellen Whitaker. Afterall, he is the man of steal. (yes, it will get worse)

In Japan they have created a machine that simulates "French Kissing". It will soon be available in stores everywhere right next to World of Warcraft.

The price of oil tumbled 7% as demand for it sunk. In fact, it sunk so low that it is now dating Snooki.

A study out of the Netherlands has concluded that sex and coffee may trigger a stroke. Except in my case. I drink coffee before I stroke my trigger. (sometimes the best part of waking up is just waking up)

Octomom's fertility doctor might lose his license. If he does, he will be octo gone (told you it would get worse)

The Syrian army has started to pull out of Daraa. I don't know Daraa but she better carry condoms.

At the time of his death, it appears that Osama Bin Laden had an escape plan since he had money stitched to his clothes. Either that or he was recently married and was doing his first dance.


  1. LOL @ W.O.W.! They'll need that machine! Snooki jokes are always funny, too.

  2. Haha! I liked the World of Warcraft joke.

  3. LOL those were funny.

  4. A kissing machine? Sounds about as exciting as lipstick on a pig!

    Husband after sex: Sanka
    Wife: You're welcome.

    I don't know what Osama was wearing when he got capped but I hear he looked like a million bucks!

  5. Hahaha. Snooki: The last resort.

  6. Bahahahaha! Great jokes! All of them cracked me up, so they're all my faves!

  7. Why oh why do the Japanese think of everything first?
    Loved the jokes!

  8. All funny! You seem to have sex on your mind.... :-)

  9. Oh man, I'm getting some great laughs on this blog right now!

    "it sunk so low that it is now dating Snooki." *Snort I'm knee slapping.