Sunday, May 29, 2011
ADD and Bingo, bad idea
This holiday weekend didn't go quite as planned. I don't plan things well and so I was home and my girlfriend was bored and wanted to do something "fun" and she was itching to leave the house and go anywhere anywhere anywhere (sing along to The Smiths). The converstaion was typical:
Her: "So what are we going to do?"
Me: "I don't know what do you want to do?"
Her: "let's leave the house."
Me: "Yeah it is sunny."
Her: "You never plan anything fun."
Me: (admiting defeat) "Whatever you want to do, I'll do."
Here is the thing folks. I do have an opinion but that's not what's important. What's important is that I minimize the pain of my decisions if they deviate from what my girlfriend wants to do. The equation looks something like this:
MD+ME = X
If P of HD-MD = or is greater than X, HD prevails.
MD (My decision)
ME (My enjoyment)
HD (Her decision)
WE'RE OFF TO BINGO
I have never played Bingo in a Bingo hall. Oh my goodness. It was a trip to be surrounded by future Florida retirees. The hall was huge and I thought it would be easy to hear a letter and number and punch it on a paper. I couldn't be more wrong.
The rules sounded like Sudoku to me. I thought that if you completed a line, that was bingo. OH no, each game has different rules. There are wild card numbers that get scratched automatically, there are certain shapes that must be completed in one or more cards, and we had a Samoan lady breaking down the science of the game.
My head was spinning. Old ladies are laughing at my stupididy as I'm trying to get clarity on the rules. "Can the line be vertical or can it diagonal?"
They read the numbers super fast also. "I punch the number, you remember the winning shapes o.k?" I petition my girlfriend." "No you have to remember the rules too!"
I gave up. They went so fast that It resembled the nasdaq movement at Wall Street.
THE SECOND ANNOUNCER
While I was baffled in the first round, I can lay blame on myself. However, things would get worse. They switched announcers and he mumbled! I swear he was Charlie Brown's teacher. After he read I asked myself, "did he say B or G?" He rambled another number. "WHAT!" I yellled in disgust. "WHAT?" My girlfriend wants to laugh but she's semi-embarassed by my antics. I order stale nachos and play two more games before conceding defeat.
I will be back and I will master this complex game but if Charlie Brown's teacher is there, I'm walking out.
P.S I'm still having issues with Blogger as I can't leave messages on certain blogs so don't think that I'm not reading.