Monday, May 23, 2011
Armpio Pharmaceuticals said that its drug to treat premature ejaculation showed significant results. The evidence is overwhelming. It would stand up in court.
This Saturday, the rapture was interrupted by a smashing elbow from Randy 'macho man" savage. Oh yeah! (R.I.P)
Astronomers have confirmed the existence of dark energy in the cosmos. This may explain why the universe appears to be expanding. White flight.
In Missouri, tornado Joplin has caused devastation killing 116. Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, the state was rocked by another twister named Dirk.
DNA samples obtained from the clothing of the maid have confirmed that it belonged to Strauss-Hahn. Police still want to interview Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum.
Speaking of maids, I'm starting to think that they wield tremendous power. One brings down the head of the IMF. Another, took out ex E-bay CEO Meg Whitman, and recently one terminated the marriage of the terminator and Maria. (Memo from Maria Shriver: I won't be back)