Thursday, August 4, 2011

jokes 8-4-11

Marvel has revealed a new "Spiderman" that is half Black and half Hispanic. He can still climb buildings but now he leaves behind graffiti. (Racist? I'd say so)

A Swedish man was caught trying to split atoms at home. Neighbors describe him as quiet but explosive.

In Plaistow, New Hampshire, a remorseful thief returned a woman's wallet to her in person, along with an apology letter. Congress did you hear that?

Police academy actor and NFL star Bubba Smith died at 66. The wrong "Bubba" has died. Why couldn't it be the one that rapes cellmates in prison.

Rep. Davd Wu signaled that he would resign from Congress over a sex scandal involving an unwanted sexual encounter with an 18 year old girl. It sounds like the Wutang got caught up with the putang.

As a result of weak economic numbers, the Dow Jones plummeted 400 points. There hasn't been this many points dropped since Kirstie Alley joined Weight Watchers.

A Chinese agency has downgraded the U.S from A+ to A. Not to worry, the U.S working on several extra credit assignments.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are broke and living with Spender's parents. They're making a movie about this called "The Hills have eyes and those eyes have tears."

A 29 year old female was arrested for prostitution as she worked at Dunkin' Donuts. "Johns" would use the code word "extra sugar" and she would go into the parking lot. I'll never look at doughnut holes the same way.


  1. The first one cracked me up! And I'll never look at donuts the same way again. Thanks for that. :)

  2. The next time I go to Dunkin' Donuts, I'll have to see which employee goes to the parking lot when I hear someone say "extra sugar".

  3. I'm not even kidding I just ate a donut at work and it did have extra sugar.

  4. After that chick got caught they changed the code words to "I'd like some sprinkles on that too."


  5. OH my goodness, these are so great. Love the Kirstie Alley one, mainly because I was on Weight Watchers this year to lose 10 pounds. I think you need to tell David Letterman to hit the road so that you can have his spot. You'd be good at it!

  6. hahaha! its great reading your jokes. youre so BAD sometimes!! ( in a good way!!) im not going to look at donuts the same again!!

  7. I love the one on Congress! LOL! These were good. I also will think of many things when I hear the term "donut holes" again.