Thursday, June 2, 2011
Facebookland , Real life and what is a friend and...
I had en episode recently that has made me re-evalaute how and why we socialize.
A few days ago I received an email by an old "Friend" (emphasized for a key reason) who found me on Facebook. I don't have my pic on Facebook but I drop just enough clues that would be known by those few who know me.
This friend and I go way back. I mean way back. We met at the Community College. She wore alot of black and she smoked alot and was very cynical and guarded. We got along great.
I hung out at her place alot and we were really good friends. I even hooked her up with one of my rapper friends who laid on top of her and said, "What's my name?". Later he asked her for duckets (cash) cuz he needed gas money.
One Christmas I invited her to my mom's house on Christmas to eat Tamales because she didn't have familiy in the States. We once took a bus to Hollywood for the hellof it. Once I had her debate the legalization of prostitution with a homeless guy outside of Tang's donuts in Los Angeles. I videotaped that "debate".
We were good friends. I thought so.
She then moved to Santa Monica, CA, then New Jersey and then she just vanished. I hadn't heard from her until I received her email.
I wrote back, "Hey psycho what's your number?"
And she wrote verbatim:
What the hell, I'm not ready to speak to you on the phone, how long has it been? Email me (email given)with a summary of your life from the past decade before we proceed.
I wrote back:
Forget I asked. That's lame.
I was taken back by that comment. I always considered us friends because I believe that once a friend, always a friend. Perhaps I'm old fashioned.
I called up my sisted and discussed, what I perceived as a diss.
She offered some great insights. She said, "In Facebookland people can be whatever they want you to perceive. It's safe. A phone call represents the real world." In short, FB alows you to keep people at a safe distance.
Am I missing something here? Is there a different set of norms and ettiquette to Facebook that doesn't translate to real life. Does "friend" have a dual meaning. Am I living in a parallel world where wanting to rekindle a friendship needs to pass several layers of scrutiny?
I'd like to hear your opinion.