Jokes 9-8-11

In San Diego, CA a man dressed as Gumby tried robbing a convenience store. His mother is saddened and still remembers when he was just a little green slab of clay.

In Amsterdam a 42 year old woman is being charged with stalking after she allegedly called her ex boyfriend 65,000 times in the past year. That's excessive. I can understand 64,000. Lines need to be drawn.

Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Peyton Manning has undergone neck surgery. Simultaneously, Fantasy Football players that picked him are experiencing heart attacks.

A model is suing "The Price is Right" claiming that she was sexually harassed by two producers of the show. Most disturbing was the producer flashing her while yelling, "come on down you're the next contestant. Try not to bite."

Neil Diamond is set to marry his manager. That's a savvy manager. In one transaction she will go from 10% to 50%.

In Georgia, one woman died after being exposed to an odor at McDonald's. It's called a Big Mac.

Tonight President Obama will deliver his speech on the American Jobs Act. He will act as though there are jobs.