Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm not dead- Just feel like it sometimes

Greetings Bloggers and readers from Lost Angeles, CA. I have been absent from this cyber universe for quite some time as I had another depressive episode that has lasted for about a month. During the "episode" I tend to tune out and remain in a semi-paralyzed state. As a result, I find it difficult to be creative or find humor. Instead I find dread and uncertainty. I know from reading many of the blogs here that I'm not alone in my feelings. However, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news or have my blog be a a tool for dispersing nothing but the blues.

I want my blog to be primarily a humor blog and a place where I can share a little piece of my universe. I believe that at one point this blog used to be somewhat entertaining and I want to make it that again. I do know that writing on a regular basis on my blog provided me with some discipline and this in turn allowed me to flex my creative juices. I'm trying to return to that mental state where I can create art or garbage. The point is to create. This post will be the first step.

The truth is that I have alot of shit on my mind. My work situation is less than ideal as the company has undergone major changes. Many people were laid off again and many people that I was really close with were liabilities in the corporate game. I could go on adinfinitum about the folly that exists at work. Suffice to say that it's the typical powerful people in power that "know better" than us proletariats. The bottom line is that I need and will get the fuck out soon for my own mental health.

Ahhh that feels so much better. I also stopped going to therapy after being bounced around from therapist to therapist. Beggars can't be choosey. It was practically a free clinic and to quote Maria Bamford, some times free clinics means crappy-shitty-no good. I know that I'm in a dark place when I stop doing the things that once gave me pleasure. I like comedy and writing and so I need to continue to pursue this.

I hope that you will still continue to check out my blog and I'll do the best to follow yours. I hope we can still be cyber pals. Deal?. I'll try to find humor again in this mad world. I'd rather laugh than cry.


  1. There you are! I was about to send out the cyber po-po to find you! I'm glad you are feeling better or better enough to write again. You are incredibly funny and talented, don't let that go to waste. Now, for the depression episode, I think it's a growing epidemic amongst the creative folk. At least it seems to be that way around my neck of the woods. All I can say, is it will get better. You know it will too. It's like in the movie Rocky II or III, I can't remember, but Apollo Creed is telling Rocky, "There IS no tomorrow!" -Well, he's wrong. There IS a tomorrow, but we have to claw and fight and scratch our way out of the darkness and into the light again to see it. I am all too familiar with that 'dark' place. It's not a good place. -Enough! Ok, so get back to doing things you love and make you happy. For reals yo! :)

  2. I know depression well and I'm sorry you go through it also. Corporations are heartless communities. What can you do? It is really good for you to start writing again. Welcome back.

  3. Keep your head up Israel- we're on your side. Comedy heals all.

    Welcome back.


    Funny For Money

  4. Nice to have your back, Israel. Sorry about the situation at work. Hope things get better for you.

  5. Hey Iz. I hope you feel better soon.

    Glad you're back.

  6. Orale Amigo, writing is writing. We can't be funny all the time. Sometimes we laugh at things that aren't funny, and are serious when they are. But don't forget "la locura, cura."

  7. Yay, welcome back !

    I always find that the funniest people out there are usually suffering from depression. And you are very funny.......

    You are definitely not alone in your feelings. I have depression too coupled with anxiety, and let me tell you it makes life a bitch sometimes. I always go out of my way to smile and be very polite to people, but inside I just have days where it's hard to fight to get up and go to work.

    And I also understand feeling dead inside. Taking medication does take the edge off, but it also takes away your ability to feel explosive emotions, like the highest of the highs, for example.

    Hang in there and welcome back !

  8. I've mentioned your blog and this post over at my place. I hope you better soon buddy. Don't give up blogging!

  9. Very interesting... I really like it... Thank you so much...

  10. you should keep going and pursue your better life :)