This holiday weekend didn't go quite as planned. I don't plan things well and so I was home and my girlfriend was bored and wanted to do something "fun" and she was itching to leave the house and go anywhere anywhere anywhere (sing along to The Smiths). The converstaion was typical:
Her: "So what are we going to do?"
Me: "I don't know what do you want to do?"
Her: "let's leave the house."
Me: "Yeah it is sunny."
Her: "You never plan anything fun."
Me: (admiting defeat) "Whatever you want to do, I'll do."
Here is the thing folks. I do have an opinion but that's not what's important. What's important is that I minimize the pain of my decisions if they deviate from what my girlfriend wants to do. The equation looks something like this:
MD+ME = X
If P of HD-MD = or is greater than X, HD prevails.
MD (My decision)
ME (My enjoyment)
HD (Her decision)
P (pain)
WE'RE OFF TO BINGO
I have never played Bingo in a Bingo hall. Oh my goodness. It was a trip to be surrounded by future Florida retirees. The hall was huge and I thought it would be easy to hear a letter and number and punch it on a paper. I couldn't be more wrong.
The rules sounded like Sudoku to me. I thought that if you completed a line, that was bingo. OH no, each game has different rules. There are wild card numbers that get scratched automatically, there are certain shapes that must be completed in one or more cards, and we had a Samoan lady breaking down the science of the game.
My head was spinning. Old ladies are laughing at my stupididy as I'm trying to get clarity on the rules. "Can the line be vertical or can it diagonal?"
They read the numbers super fast also. "I punch the number, you remember the winning shapes o.k?" I petition my girlfriend." "No you have to remember the rules too!"
I gave up. They went so fast that It resembled the nasdaq movement at Wall Street.
THE SECOND ANNOUNCER
While I was baffled in the first round, I can lay blame on myself. However, things would get worse. They switched announcers and he mumbled! I swear he was Charlie Brown's teacher. After he read I asked myself, "did he say B or G?" He rambled another number. "WHAT!" I yellled in disgust. "WHAT?" My girlfriend wants to laugh but she's semi-embarassed by my antics. I order stale nachos and play two more games before conceding defeat.
I will be back and I will master this complex game but if Charlie Brown's teacher is there, I'm walking out.
P.S I'm still having issues with Blogger as I can't leave messages on certain blogs so don't think that I'm not reading.
Bahaha! I totally get you! I went to a bingo hall a few times last November and O.M.G Charlie Brown's teacher DOES work there! Totally could not understand not only the anal rules, but the "caller" or whatever the person calling out the letters is called. I mean he was using a mike but it was like he was speaking directly into it and nothing was coherent. At least not to me. Ugh! I went more than once because the guy I was dating at the time, thought this "new" experience would be "fun" Anyway, the old men and their tobacco got to me. I suggested Loteria next time. MUCH easier and if you don't understand, you can always just look at the pictures!
ReplyDeleteI take my mom to bingo, but the hall here has electronic boards all over the walls so you can see what number was called and what shape it needs to be for every game.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably a stupid question, Israel. But have you ever gone to Griffith's Observatory or the Natural Museum of History in Los Angeles? Two places I used to love. Griffith's Park is nice too, and it used to have a zoo.
Electronic boards sound awesome Belle! I need to get out of the "hood" hahaha!
ReplyDeleteMy word that sounds horrible. I like playing Bingo but doing it like that with the complexities with the announcer. I would be kind eh too.
ReplyDeleteAdorkable Ditz.
Might I say that you are a very good boyfriend! What you may not know is that it's not so much WHAT you do, but that you do SOMETHING. Next time, act as if you had planned a walk through the park with a stop in at a coffee shop or some such thing. Believe me, your girlfriend will eat it up!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, I started dragging Jeff to all kinds of things and he went grumbling. Now- he sort of looks forward to it. If he asks what I want to do, I've learned to say something, anything... then he is motivated to come up with something better. It's kind of crazy, but it works.