Old School Cartoons (read above)

Nobody Canna Cross it

Jokes 12-9-11

My day started shitty. I was involved in a 9 car pile up. My car was 4th on that metal accordion of a mess. This happened on the 5 freeway towards Orange County, CA. It happened so fast. The airbag deployed and my seat belt prevented me from flying through the windshield (so buckle up kiddies!). In the aftermath I was in shock and had inhaled chemicals in my system. I had to kneel to prevent myself from collapsing.

But besides a sore body, I can honestly say that I'm grateful to still be alive and to be surrounded by a core of people that truly care. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I've decided that I wasn't going to let life's struggles get me down. I will turn to humor as a refuge. I hope you enjoy the following jokes. I'll be resting and counting my blessings.


Amy Winehouse's dress fetched $68,000 at an auction. When asked if the buyer planned to re-sell it, he said "no no no"

Burger King announced that they are changing its recipe for the first time since 1998. This time they will take a gamble on potatoes.

Another woman has come forward claiming to have had an affair with Herman Cain. According to her, he had a preference for 69 69 69.

After Congress lifted a ban, horses can now be slaughtered for consumption. Next on Md Donald's menu: The McStallion.

Former Miss USA, Rima Fakih has been arrested on suspicion of DUI after she failed to properly recite the alphabet. She was released immediately when it was discovered that she's just dumb.

Astronomers have discovered the biggest black holes ever, not attached to a Kardashian.

Amanda Knox has hired a lawyer to help her land a book deal. It will be entitled: "OJ thanks for the tips."

Rod Blogojevich has been sentenced for 14 years on corruption charges. His hair is appealing that decision.

Alec Baldwin was kicked off a plane in Los Angeles for playing a word game on his phone. The pilot complained that the constant beeping was was ruining his high.

Lindsey Lohan's Playboy is set to drop early after a leak - or as Hugh Heffner calls it, draining the main vein.

Returning to nature- Why PETA hates me , why I shouldn't coach rabbits for MMA, and why you should be grateful

Working For a Nuclear Free City - Je suis le Vent

I'm not dead- Just feel like it sometimes

Greetings Bloggers and readers from Lost Angeles, CA. I have been absent from this cyber universe for quite some time as I had another depressive episode that has lasted for about a month. During the "episode" I tend to tune out and remain in a semi-paralyzed state. As a result, I find it difficult to be creative or find humor. Instead I find dread and uncertainty. I know from reading many of the blogs here that I'm not alone in my feelings. However, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news or have my blog be a a tool for dispersing nothing but the blues.

I want my blog to be primarily a humor blog and a place where I can share a little piece of my universe. I believe that at one point this blog used to be somewhat entertaining and I want to make it that again. I do know that writing on a regular basis on my blog provided me with some discipline and this in turn allowed me to flex my creative juices. I'm trying to return to that mental state where I can create art or garbage. The point is to create. This post will be the first step.

CASE OF THE MONDAYS
The truth is that I have alot of shit on my mind. My work situation is less than ideal as the company has undergone major changes. Many people were laid off again and many people that I was really close with were liabilities in the corporate game. I could go on adinfinitum about the folly that exists at work. Suffice to say that it's the typical powerful people in power that "know better" than us proletariats. The bottom line is that I need and will get the fuck out soon for my own mental health.

Ahhh that feels so much better. I also stopped going to therapy after being bounced around from therapist to therapist. Beggars can't be choosey. It was practically a free clinic and to quote Maria Bamford, some times free clinics means crappy-shitty-no good. I know that I'm in a dark place when I stop doing the things that once gave me pleasure. I like comedy and writing and so I need to continue to pursue this.

I hope that you will still continue to check out my blog and I'll do the best to follow yours. I hope we can still be cyber pals. Deal?. I'll try to find humor again in this mad world. I'd rather laugh than cry.

somebody