As promised, I will continue the saga of how my friend Jessica almost had me killed. If you read my last "Flashback Friday" post you will recall that I was almost killed by a Mexican gangster named Snoopy.
On another occasion, my friend Jessica began dating a buff Mexican rapper named "Latin Lover" (I'm not kidding -that was his rap name). "Latin" was HUGE!. His arms looked like my thighs. He was a shitty rapper but no one dare tell him that he couldn't flow.
Latin was legendary for being a mean ass Mexican. There was rumor on the street that when L.A County Jail had their famous, race riots between Blacks and Mexicans, Latin was the guy that started that riot!
On another occasion, some guys decided to try to rip off his d.j equipment and stabbed him several times. Not only did they not steal his equipment, one guy ended up getting his ass kicked. The dude was bad.
Latin Lover was a bit older than us as we were in high school. He began dating Jessica. Before dating her, he was dating another girl that was a pretty close friend of mine. This girl had told me that Latin was pretty abusive with her and had roughed her up on several occasions.
So when Latin began dating Jessica I tried to warn her of his propensity for violence. "Hey Jessica I heard that Latin could be rough. His last girlfriend told me that he was kinda rough with her. Be careful. I'm telling you this because you are a friend."
Next thing you know, word on the street was, "Latin is after you". I imagine the conversation that led to that decision went something like this:
Jessica: I heard you are a wife beater.
Latin: Who the fuck said that?
Jessica: I just heard.
Latin: Who told you!!!! (Neck gets squeezed hard)
Jessica: Israel!
To say I was scared is an understatement. I was petrified. During this time there were several events where my rapper buddies and I would attend, such as backyard parties. On one occasion, there was going to be a a rap contest at "Music Revolution" in Whittier,CA.
I knew the the guy that was the judge and he had told me to show up as he would award me the winner and I would get the cash. (So much for objectivity and fairness). Eventhough the fix was in, something told me NOT to attend because Latin would be there. I went with my instincts and stayed home.
My friend Sal, who did attend the rap contest, calle me up sounding frantic. "Israel Latin wants to kick your ass. He thought I was you and grabbed me by the neck and was going to sock me!"
I couldn't ignore this. I had to take action. I called him directly. More accurately, I called and kissed his ass clean. Inside, outside, all around. I left it spotless!
THE CALL
Ring Ring
(my heart is beating out of my chest and I'm breathing heavy)
"Hello"
"Can I speak with Latin?
"This is him"
"It's Israel. I heard you're after me"
"Yup"
(I then proceeded to tell him how I would NEVER talk about him. I reminded the time that we were partying with some girls and how I was cool with him and how much I enjoyed his company and how he was wiser than Jesus and that he smelled good and, you name it I said it. My life was at stake.)
He paused and calmly said: "You know that bitch was probably lying. I don't talk to her anymore. You're alright. We're cool because you took care of business. (Meaning I approached him regarding our differences). I was going to live.
What lessons did I learn?
1- Mexican girls like dating thugs.
2- Kissing ass can prevent kicking ass.
3- People that take part in prison riots tend to have bad tempers.
4- People can be Lovers and Fighters.
5- Its best to confront and go to the source of your problems.
6- All Jessica's are trouble including Simpson.
Newly appointed G.O.P Speaker of the House, John Boehner said in a recent speech: " This is the people's house". And like any most houses these days, it is owned by the banks and losing value fast.
In Celebration of it's 40th anniversary, Starbucks will change it's logo. They will drop the "Starbucks" name but will keep the green siren who now is dripped in oil.
Alec Baldwin told CNN host Eliot Spitzer that he was very serious about running for public office but he is also busy with acting. He is stuck between 30 Rock and a hard place.
A guard that once worked for Michael jackson testified that Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, hid evidence which was never found; making him a smooth criminal.
A new antibiotic therapy using rifaximin may help ease irritable bowel syndrome. I'm not shitting you.
After reading the Ditz's blog outlining the format of her blog for the year, I realized that my blog has very little structure and also that she is very organized. So I decided to introduce WTF Wednesdays. The idea is to present true stories that made me say "WTF" at work.
However, I don't want to limit myself to work-related stories. This is my attempt at structure. I hope it works.
Before I get into the story, let me recap the set of circumstances that bring me to my WTF story. Last Year I was without of work for the great majority of the time. I had a great paying job doing inside sales and then the recession yada yada. You know how that goes.
Recently I got a job working for a well known organization that has a great reputation for helping homeless people. We have homeless shelters open during the cold seasons. We give them shelter, feed them, and give them a place to shower. If a homeless family arrives at the shelter, we provide housing for the family at a motel as we don't want children to be exposed to such a rough environment.
After the families are set up at a motel, I visit with the families with the goal that they transition to an alternative setting. This program is for emergencies and is short term. I find out about their situation and try to provide whatever guidance we can with the limited resources that we have.
THE DRUG CHILD
Yesterday I went on a visit to see a familiy. It was a mother and her 10 year old daughter. The motel itself is in a rough neighborhood. According to another tenant, a lady was recently stabbed to death across the street and her body placed in a dumpster. "The cops have been coming around here alot," said she.
We knock and this frail woman answers. She looks at us with suspicion. We introduce ourselves. (It's a female co-worker and me). She sighs with relief. "You can come out honey, they are o.k". Apparently, the child was hiding. That was a bit creepy and this prompted the question, why is she hiding?
The frail woman was almost in tears. This was her story. She used to have a great job in the real estate industry but because of the recession yada yada. She used up all of her savings and needed help. This is the first time she has been this finacially strapped. Then she explains that she was an emancipated youth meaning she legally broke ties with her family because her mother was a crack addict and as a result, she has ADD. Her daughter also has ADD and is prone to turrets.
She had the baby from an older man that used to be her therapist when she was 15! He wasn't a therapist he was THE RAPIST. He supposedly had his license suspended and is threatening to take her child from him. Later she reveals that everytime she needed any financial support, he would force her to engage in some sexual act. "Get on your knees and do what you do best." The guy is a creep and he lost his license.
She now was in tears and was explaining how he has messed with her mind for all these years using "reverse psychology". The guy sounds evil. She has to attend an emergency hearing where he will argue that the child should be with him. I called up my family attorney friend who will help her in this matter.
The tragedy got worse as she explained that her father commited suicide. While she is telling us her life story, her daughter kept staring at me with a deep stare that was both cute and eery. She was drawing me. She pretended to hide behind a book;a kind of peek a boo. We explain to the mom what her options are and we guide her in the right direction.
I left the room with my co-worker and we both felt drained and exhausted after hearing and witnessing tragedy. I went home thinking of that lady and her child wondering what the hell is going to happen.
When my co-worker got to the office today, she opened up the cartoon drawing that the little girl had drawn. It had a cartoon-monster looking creature in the middle with a big head and regular sized feet and hands. On the side of the picture it read: "Thank you for helping us"
WTF
In Arkansas there is mystery surrounding the death of 5000 birds that fell from the sky. Look up in the sky it's a bird. Look down on the floor it's that same bird.
A 26 year old man who tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building in New York City was spared when he landed on a huge pile of garbage. The AIG executives also survived.
The commander of a U.S carrier is in hot water for a crude video he made that contained gay slurs, simulated masterbation scenes, and service members showering together. His career in the Navy may be ending but he has found a home in "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
Zsa Zsa Gabor was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital to have her leg amputated. Now she can't kick off the New Year as planned.
Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband was taken to the hospital after he mistook a bottle of glue for eyedrops. His coffe mug remains broken but has perfect vision.
In St. George, Utah three high schools have set up the Gay/Straight Alliances in this conservative town. The Church of the Latter Day Saints have accepted them freely because of their love of "more men". ( I need to move to Iowa because that was corny)
