Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Jokes -March 22.2012



Comedian Gallagher was hospitalized after he suffered a heart attack. His doctor is recommending that he switch to smashing grapes.

A new "Huggies" ad has angered dads for portraying them as hapless caregivers. As soon as I find my kid, I'm writing them a protest letter.

Did you hear? A journal belonging to Lizzie Borden was recently found. If you don't know, you better axe somebody.

Ben & Jerry has created a new ice cream flavor in support of gay marriage. It's described as super fruity and God hates it.

Rick Santorum has made a campaign promise to ban hard-core pornography. Come again?

A 7.6 earthquake shook Mexico creating instant Mexican Jumping Beans.

Robert De Niro is in hot water for joking at Obama's fundraiser that it was too soon for a another white,first lady. "You know how us Guidos are", he continued.

Einstein's manuscripts are now available online. To see them, go to www.iwishiwassmartenoughtounderstandthisshit.com

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Don't apologize for who you are



I try to not get too political on this blog but I have to get something off my chest which is a common occurrence in popular culture today, that gets on my freaking nerves:

The half ass apology.

It usually happens because the person doing the apology:

A- Was being a dick
B- Got caught
C- Has to apologize because of self interest.

Here is the thing: DON"T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING YOU.

It reminds me of an Aesop Fable of the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion asks the frog to help him cross the lake. The frog is apprehensive because it fears being stung. The scorpion re-assures the frog that it would be foolish to sting the frog because it would die and they would both sink and die. The frog agrees to help the scorpion. It hops on the frog's back and half way through, the scorpion stings the frog. "Why did you do that?" the frog asks? "It's my nature" responds the scorpion.

That's just it. Just as as dog barks, and a bird flies, a dick is a dick.

There are numerous examples of this. Remember when Mel Gibson had a few too many drinks and got pulled over and unleashed his anti Semitic rant to a cop? First he blamed it on the a a a a alcohol and then he "apologized". He said that's not who he is. Correction: That is who you are. Otherwise alcoholic beverages may need to post warnings: Drinking may cause you to say what you really think and this may prove embarrassing. Drink responsibly,

Then there is Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid who said Obama could be successful because he is light skin and doesn't have a "negro dialect". After that comment he, you guessed it, "apologized". For what? That is who he is.

Now you have Rush Limbaugh who called a Harvard student a "slut" because she testified in support of including women's contraceptive to an employer's health insurance. Rush argued that she was demanding to be paid to have sex. WHAT??? It would be amusing if he didn't have a legion of fools who look to him for guidance. I like how a guy that has been married 4 times, was arrested for abusing prescribed medication (he deceived several doctors to obtain multiple prescriptions), and was caught with a bottle of Viagra that was not prescribed to him, is passing moral judgment.

In response to the bad press that his "slut" comment received and after dozens of sponsors dropped him, he ....."apologized". It was the weakest of apologies. It was preceded by comments about how he shouldn't have scooped to the level of those on the left.... but, he reassures the listeners, it was a "sincere apology".

I do believe in apologies when they are sincere and when emotions trump what you really believe. But, if you're a scorpion don't apologize for stinging. It's in your nature.